Transcript
WEBVTT
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Hey everybody.
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Thanks for joining us.
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This is Bryan path from the source LGBT plus center.
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And you're listening to queer goggles.
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[inaudible].
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On this episode of Queer Goggles, we're going to be speaking with Briana Guerrero and Kerrigan one, two of our leadership academy participants about what it's like to be non-binary using they them pronouns, clinic visits, growing up in central California and everything in between.
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Hi Brianna.
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Hi.
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I'm glad you're here today.
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Um, so can you introduce yourself?
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I'd like your name, um, your pronouns, your age, where you're from, and then we'll go from there.
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Okay.
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I am Brianna Guerrero.
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I use they them pronouns.
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Uh, I'm from Hanford, California and I am 21 years old.
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So you use they them pronouns.
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Yeah, that's pretty cool.
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It's been interesting.
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So do you identify as, um, gender nonconforming?
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How do you identify?
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Uh, I died identify as gender queer mainly because I appreciate all genders and what they have to offer.
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So I kind of like to incorporate all of the genders within me and don't really want to be confined to just one box and would like to do with all of them.
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I don't like it when people try to categorize me into a certain labels when in reality, I just love all of it in a sense.
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So gender queer is a way to be more yourself?
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Yeah, it's a way for me to be able to be myself without having to confine myself to certain gender roles or um, needs in a sense or like to have to be forced into doing something that I don't really want to do.
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Right.
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Expectations.
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Yeah.
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I kind of want to just do away with those.
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Yeah.
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Queer identities are a really good way for people to say f off because, you know, I feel like I'm, a lot of people that I met that identify as maybe like a queer sexual orientation or queer sexuality is a way to say to even the LGBT community like, Hey, I don't fit into your stereotypical gay or lesbian role or by sexual role.
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And I don't feel straight.
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So I identify as queer
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and I feel like for the longest time people over the middle identities in both sexuality and gender identity, they've been kind of put to the side and not really talked about as often.
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Even though there's like a whole other spectrum when it comes to non-binary spectrum, because I use gender queer as to identify myself with all genders as well.
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Other gender queer people might use it to do away with gender and not wanting to have anything to do with it.
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Like age, gender.
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Yeah,
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like age, gender or something like that because everybody experiences gender differently, so that's what kind of non-binary identities offer to the world.
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They offer a place for people to just express gender though whatever way and whenever and however they want to.
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Ben, our culture is pretty or has been historically pretty like set on roles even though those kind of change over time, but especially where we are in central California.
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Oh yes.
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Like this is what it looks like to be a man.
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This is what it looks like to be a woman.
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And that those are your only two options.
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And if you don't fit, there's something.
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Yeah.
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Well there's only wrong.
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Yeah.
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And it's very hard because I do come from a Latin community, like my dad's side of the family is all from Mexico.
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So there's that whole rugged, um, machismo and also, uh, you have to be a certain kind of Latin woman in order to fit into those kinds of gender roles.
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And it's really hard because I don't exactly resemble the perfect Mexican American woman, so to speak.
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Neither do I.
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Um, but I think that I make a stupid joke, but I think most people would feel like they don't really fit in.
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And so, um, we pretend a lot and um, you know, even maybe like a straight cisgender Mexican woman or even just assists straight any, any ethnicity there's at, we all have our culture.
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Yeah.
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That dictates what we're supposed to act like.
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And I certainly didn't act like, uh, what a boy should act like.
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And it's really hard because it, it makes people look at you in a different way.
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In a sense, and it's kind of hard in a sense because there is no way that I can show to people that I'm of the non-binary because there's no specific type of non-binary person, the only non-binary person that we think of as a judge, Enos people.
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But that's completely different.
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It's really hard for me to wear a dress when I want to and still be looked at as somebody that's they them in a sense.
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Right.
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Cause they're like, why are you confusing me?
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Your expression is female.
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So I mean this is like, so would you consider yourself as under the umbrella of the Trans Community?
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I do very much consider myself as part of the Trans identity.
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And I know that there's a lot of backlash when non-binary people try to attach themselves to trans identities.
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The main reason why is because I don't identify myself with my biological sex.
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My gender identity is different than my biological sex, which technically means I am transgender, right.
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Because my gender identity and my equipment don't really match up.
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Yeah.
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So, okay.
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So I'm going to break that down because this might be something new to our listeners.
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So, right.
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You're talking about biological sex, which you're, when you say that you're talking about um,
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male, female.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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So we're born Intersex, right?
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So that's a third gender that a lot of people don't really realize, or sorry, sorry.
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Third Sex, gender.
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So, um, that's a good distinction.
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Um, taking, uh, sex and talking about it biologically and then taking gender and talking about that really more in a sort of like a feeling sense or an identity sense, sort of separating those out helps people understand
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because not everybody is who their sex, what their sex is.
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Exactly.
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And I've met many of people that I don't identify with their biological sex.
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Some would do away with it.
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Others are just like, I like it.
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But at the same time I like this too.
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And so it's been very interesting.
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And I know the leadership academy has presented me those opportunities to meet those kinds of people.
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So it would be the difference of saying like if you identify with your sex assigned at birth, you would be quote unquote systemic.
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Right.
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Okay.
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And so if you didn't identify or align exactly, exactly with that sex assigned at birth, then you would be in the trans community.
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Yes.
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So that's pretty expansive view of transgender
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and it, and it makes people mad because especially for those that are of the Trans Community and fit the binary trans community, we, meaning that they're trans male or trans female.
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When you have somebody who's says they're trans and is of the non-binary spectrum, it gets people angry sometimes.
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And I've had people kind of come up to me and tell me that I'm not trans because I'm non-binary.
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Even though you're kind of excluding me from those kinds of opportunities in those kinds of resources.
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Yeah.
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Cause sometimes tran trans resources can really help those of the non-binary community as well.
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It makes me really sad that people would bar others from getting resources that they need.
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And it is sad.
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It's, it's a bummer.
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You know, it's, it's happened and it happens in a lot of marginalized communities.
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We ended up marginalizing each other because you don't fit right.
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You don't fit.
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You're not gay enough.
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You're not trans enough.
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You're not lesbian enough or you're, yeah.
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Yeah.
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I get that a lot.
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And it sucks because it's like we want to go away with the binary, but they're feeding into the binary by doing that, by saying that we're excluding you non-binary folks because you're of the non binary spectrum and you're not choosing one or the other.
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And so that's kind of feeding into the binary when we don't want anything to do with it.
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Yeah.
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Well, moving on, there's no real segway there.
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I think it's, I think it's super important too, for all LGBT identities that we can be as inclusive and as affirming
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possible.
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I just want to affirm as much as I can with people.
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So
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I think it's great.
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And I think, um, you talking it is really helpful for people because they may not have ever had a conversation or even heard of a non-binary person explain what it's like to be themselves, them, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Alright.
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So you are very active in the LGBT community?
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I would say so, yeah.
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You're the president of the pride club at Cos?
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Yes.
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And you were what?
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You're the vice president before that or
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um, I was the event coordinator before that
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coordinated events.
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I coordinated them.
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And this year you were part of our leadership academy aside from the clinic visits cause we'll get to those.
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Right.
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If you had one thing that you felt maybe was the most valuable for you, what would that be?
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Does it have to be one?
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Let's do two then
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because it would have to be slam poetry for sure.
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Cause it allowed me to express myself in a way that I haven't before.
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Especially to a room full of people that yes, I've been in leadership leaders shop little shop before.
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Yes.
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I've been in leadership academy with them as maybe shocking, but I'm a very closed off person when it comes to emotions, I'm usually there for people, not people are there for me.
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That's how I like to live my life.
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It's not healthy, but, and so that kind of allowed me to just express myself and be, and it made me realize that expressing emotions is okay and that people were in that room were very like, thank you for sharing.
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And I appreciated that a lot because I'm not used to sharing.
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So having that affirmation of sharing really helped a lot in my growth as a person.
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And so that's how leadership academy has really helped a lot, is my growth as a person.
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That session.
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Yeah.
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Uh, slam poetry is a really fun night because it scares a lot of people.
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Yes.
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There's something magical that happens.
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Quiet people get loud, loud.
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People get quiet, you know, polite people get Rhonchi Rhonchi it's pretty cool.
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You get to see this.
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It's like giving your just, it just like everyone gets an agreement that they're going to give themselves permission to explore.
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Yeah.
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And because you all felt so supportive and supported, uh, there was some really cool stuff.
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Yeah.
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It made me realize that it's so, it's good.
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It feels good to be supported and, and it's not only, I should not only strive to be supportive but also to be supported.
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And for the longest time I felt like that was just selfish to want to be supported.
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But I realized that that's, that's not true.
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Like it's important to accept people for who they are and also for you to be accepted.
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And so that's something that I really learned through leadership academy is that I have actually been wanting validation for who I am.
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And that's kind of led me to be like, if you don't validate me, then I'm not going to put up with it.
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That's, yeah, that's a boundary.
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Yeah, that's a good boundary.
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Definitely like help me think that Brown because usually I would associate with people that didn't validate for me for who I am and would actually openly antagonize it and say, oh she, this, she that on purpose knowing who footwell of who I am.
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And so it kind of let me have that boundary of like, okay, if you're not going to validate me and not respect me, then I can't do this.
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So when somebody does she, you write on purpose, on purpose or ms gender you, what does that do?
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What does that feel like?
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It feels bad because it, it makes me go to that dark place of like, there's nothing that I'm never, I'm never going to be able to be seen the way I want to be seen and that place is really scary and it sucks and it makes me sad, like very depressed.
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Then I get into this depressed kind of state to where I don't want to do anything and I want to stop and I quit basically.
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But then I picked myself back up and I'm like, no, I'm going to do this.
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I'm going to be validated.
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There's going to be one day that people are just going to see me for who I am and I'm going to strive for that day and people make mistakes.
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Oh yeah.
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And I'm okay with that as long as I do that.
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Yes.
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On purpose.
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As long as I see people trying and respecting me.
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Like I respect that.
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I'm thankful for that because they're actually trying.
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But when I see, I can tell when people don't even care.
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And that's the unfortunate thing about being of the middle ground is that there's nothing that I can do that can say, hey they them unless I wear a button every day of my life where on my forehead, like, hey they them pronouns, get a tattoo, get a tattoo.
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Just added to the one I have.
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Um, so you, you said there were a couple things.
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So the first one was slam poetry.
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What was the, what was the other one?
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Definitely
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meeting Sam from the Trevor Project and doing the 50 bills for 50 states.
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It definitely like lit a fire under my butt.
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Yeah.
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Because it made me realize how lucky I was to have it in a sense because my family was very accepting.
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Like my dad's side doesn't really know and I'm okay with that.
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But my mom's side has been so accepting of who I am and it's made me very grateful.
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And so like learning about conversion therapy and like the struggles behind it.
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I was like, oh my gosh, I will not stand for this.
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I am want to help.
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And so like that's one of the things that I want to strive for is to help youth and specifics because youth have it bad when it comes to the LGBTQ community and it sucks.
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And I feel so bad that that protects conversion therapy.
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Yeah.
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And it's just scary to think about that.
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So I definitely want to help out there.
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And it also was really cool to see somebody that was gender fluid and use it today.
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Then pronouns to be in such a high power and demand that Mike pence be like moved out of the office whenever they go into the Oval Office.
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It was just really cool to set them strong and that happens.
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Yeah.
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And like I was like, I kinda want to strive to be that like be that powerful.
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They them non-binary gender fluid person and I'm like, I love you.
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Like you're awesome.
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They're a good role model.
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Yeah.
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I felt like Sam talking to us was really important too.
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And it was, it was pretty cool that we could zoom them in because otherwise we would not have access to, to San Brinton, the turbo project.
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So that was really cool cause it kind of like made me realize like I can do it and kind of gave me that confidence that I didn't think I had before.
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So like the leadership leadership academy is definitely like changed me as a person in the best ways.
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Yay.
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So yay.
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That's great.
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That's great to hear.
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My name is Kerrigan wan.
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I am 21 years old.
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I go by, she, they, there is pronouns and my favorite color is yellow.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Cool.
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Like an oak curry yellow, like a disgusting yellow painting.
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Like a deep disgusting yellow blue, like an old Ford truck.
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Yellow.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Um, so you s you're, you use she and a pronouns and so how would you identify yourself?